Watchers of reality TV shows are more likely to become murder victims

killer

In a recent study by the EBACI: everything but a cure institute, people who watch reality television programs are more likely to be become murder victims. Professor Victor Radnor said: “People who watch these shows are less likely to read a book, further their learning in any way or do anything meaningful with their life – all that can take a real toll on someone’s naivety when faced with a machete welding maniac.

We asked Chelsea King, 23, from Southend, if she felt she would know what to do if ever faced with the imminent danger of a killer, Chelsea said: “If Jem gets off with Franco, Char’s gonna be well fuming at her”, giving a completely nonsensical, almost not on this planet answer to our question, we feel there might be some truth in Victor’s findings.

Victor: “We had a group of four specimens who all watched current realty shows. We put them in a comfy room and played their favourite reality show to them. All four showed non responses to the room door being smashed open, nor the heavy breathing behind them from our ex con serial killer Alex”

It seems then from the test results, that people who watch these reality shows are in fact just waiting to be murdered. It’s early days still so we cannot say whether watching love island will in fact lead to having a pickaxe plunged into your skull – but we wouldn’t risk it.

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Author: The Wrong Times

Satirical news site.

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