The Ladbrokes high rollers club


The rich kids of Instagram have nothing on the high rollers of Ladrbokes. Its Friday afternoon, only a few more hours until you’re free for the weekend, but that freedom is an everyday thing for some. Meet the Ladbrokes high rollers.

The Ladbroke Lads as they like to be known, are a group of 3 from Southampton. Kevin, Danny and Pooky. Kevin the oldest of the group aged 22 said: “We rock up after a late lunch at spoons, gourmet burger meal of course. I spend anything up to a tenner every Friday on accumulators, I only do English prem and Spanish top games on mine, that’s where the moneys at.”

Danny aged 19 said: “I too do the acca’s but I’ll add in a bit of horse racing now and then. If I’ve necked a monster energy I’ll sometimes flex the cash and do a fiver just on one horse race, the bitches love it when I go big on the 3/1 favourite.”

Pooky aged 18 said “The shop has only just started letting me in now I’ve turned 18, so I’m fresh to the game, but I’ll be retiring soon I think as my run on the fruties has been sweet. I’ll put in maybe £8 odd and always win.”

The youngsters are in somewhat denial about their winnings we feel as neither have actually made a profit so far. As an example we asked Pooky what his winnings were per £8 fruit machine play, he said: “mate serious dollar, it’s easily £6 per play and I win that every time.” This of course means Pooky is at a £2 loss each play. So anyone considering a career in gambling, don’t, at least McDonalds pays minimum wage.


Hardcore football fan asks row in front to sit down


Manchester City till he dies, is Kevin Jenkins. “A passionate City mad fan is our Kev” said Paul, one of his mates who is also a season ticket holder at the club. However it’s not all football day happiness for the blues fan, Kevin said: “I’m here week in week out, sure I watch the game in between talking about top gear to Paul, but I’ve got a season ticket which means I’m one of the best fans.”

Last weekend Kevin took it upon himself to tap the shoulder of an unfamiliar face sitting in front of his usual seat at the Etihad, Mr Jenkins on the incident said: “I couldn’t believe it, who does he think he is standing up and cheering the boys coming out for the start of the game, he’s only bought a ticket for today.

“Before he starts cheering more and singing at the top of his lungs, I thought I better put him straight.” The season ticket holder then said to the supporter in front: “Do you mind sitting down I can’t see anything, I’ve got a season ticket.”

Kevin then went onto say that the gentlemen knew his place and sat down no questions asked, however we caught up with Paul on his take on the incident, “When Kev asked the bloke to sit down, the guy replied with something along the lines of, who do you think you are you fat specky cunt, if you can’t see then get up off your fat arse and show some support, otherwise fuck up before you get knocked out”

Kevin Jenkins, who isn’t disabled or carrying any injuries, should really be standing up and supporting his team and not talking about irrelevant shite whilst hogging a season ticket allocation. Be a true supporter – Don’t be a Kevin Jenkins.

Arsenal squad to have jobseekers allowance claim refused


The news broke this morning that under performing English Premiership club Arsenal has had a number of its squad have their jobseekers allowance claims refused. Under the department for work and pensions guidelines for claimants it states: “If you left your job without a good reason, you’ll be classed as making yourself voluntarily unemployed. This may affect your claim for jobseeker’s allowance.”

Recent poor results at both Stoke and Liverpool, adding in the sheer lack of heart shown, players could end up landing themselves with no money when their contracts are up. Arsenal fan Benny Graham said: “look I can imagine getting paid millions can be hard at times, but we deserve better when people like myself have had to remortgage for the price of an Emirates season ticket.”

Arsene Wenger optimistic as ever at the weekend said: “I believe we can be how you say league winners this year, either way I have my vineyard now producing so it’s all going to be ok don’t worry”

We’re not sure if it’s the cabernet sauvignon talking or Arsene has gone full on bat shit bald head Britney, but what we do know is, at 16th position in the premier league, talking of winning the league is sounding rather far fetched at the moment.