Depression rates soar for assembly line robots


Day to day living can be hard enough as it is with the pressures of society around us. The price of living is higher than ever and there’s not enough time in the day for relaxation, this can really take its toll on a person. However when everyone expects you to be a badass bounty hunter riding around on a motorbike with a pump action looking for some bird called Sarah Connor in a mixed up crazy story line, reality then sets in and it really blows when actually all you’ve achieved since build launch is a 600 a day production output for compacting airbags into their explosive compartments and a once over with rustoleum every six months.

PX520, also known as Roody to the technicians said: “I’m sick of life at the moment, I’ve no work life balance. I spend 24 hours a day working and my colleagues really push my buttons at times. I want the freedom to take a walk once in a while, maybe do a bit of 5 a side footy or something.”

Roody is not the only robot suffering work injustice, iCleanshit, a 4th gen hoover robot said: “I only work part time and even then I spend that getting verbally abused from the family dog. I feel I’ve no direction in life and doing this meaningless bullshit isn’t helping me mentally whatsoever.”

It could be that iCleanshit’s lack of direction may be down to a mapping path issue caused by pet hair getting clogged, but what’s more than evident is that we are working too many hours just to enrich some assholes bank balance or keeping a landing carpet free of hair and biscuit crumbs. Maybe it’s time we said bollocks to the lot and fucked off travelling.