Arsenal squad to have jobseekers allowance claim refused


The news broke this morning that under performing English Premiership club Arsenal has had a number of its squad have their jobseekers allowance claims refused. Under the department for work and pensions guidelines for claimants it states: “If you left your job without a good reason, you’ll be classed as making yourself voluntarily unemployed. This may affect your claim for jobseeker’s allowance.”

Recent poor results at both Stoke and Liverpool, adding in the sheer lack of heart shown, players could end up landing themselves with no money when their contracts are up. Arsenal fan Benny Graham said: “look I can imagine getting paid millions can be hard at times, but we deserve better when people like myself have had to remortgage for the price of an Emirates season ticket.”

Arsene Wenger optimistic as ever at the weekend said: “I believe we can be how you say league winners this year, either way I have my vineyard now producing so it’s all going to be ok don’t worry”

We’re not sure if it’s the cabernet sauvignon talking or Arsene has gone full on bat shit bald head Britney, but what we do know is, at 16th position in the premier league, talking of winning the league is sounding rather far fetched at the moment.